admittedly, these are not the lyrics to all the songs. why? well,
that depends on the song. eventually i will work on posting all the
lyrics from all the songs that have them. some songs, though, don't
really have lyrics per se, just stuff that sounds like words...
i know a girl with finest eyes & thighs
i'd never rather look at noone else when she's nearby
she's just a magnet for my eye
but when i try to say that, she thinks that it's a lie
cHorus:
'cause she don't think she's pretty
no matter how much i say to the contrary (x2)
i want that woman for my very own
she's in my mind every time i am alone
decimal 10.0
but ask her & she'd rate herself around a zero
cHorus
1-2-3x around swings the chain
as it cracks 'gainst your head
& you fall to the ground
you're so dead it's not funny
your blood is just running
through all of the gutters in town
chorus!:
you will never know what hit you
when my vengeance comes around
oh i'm so out to get you
you won't never hear a sound
you fucking whore you fucking whore you fucking whore
you fucking whore you fucking whore you fucking whore
hey what words would you like on your grave
i can post-it a note
to your corpse when i'm done
& deliver a note to your wife & your son
let 'em know that you won't be around
you might be worried
that i am on your trail
you might be running scared
setting traps, hoping i will fail
but all your efforts will be to no avail
'cause you won't be prepared!
chorus to end
i met girl she was pretty so i flipped heels then head
asked her out she said yippee! we went out went to bed
suddenly i was happy honest bliss not content
then one day somethin hit me it was somethin she said
she was gone she was leaving i was dead i was dead
she was gone wasn't kidding i was dead i was dead
she was gone i was finished i was dead i was dead
she was gone i was finished i was dead i was dead
song of shellac
sing a song of shellac & you will see
that you really want to fuck me baby
sing a song of shellac & you will see
that we're gonna make skinny
sing a song of shellac & get back
we're gon get it on like leda & swan
sing a song of shellac & get back
we'll tickle & slap until we heart attack
sing a song of shellac & you will see
that you don't know what the fuck shellac is anyway
hey you b'lo i got it on some high-ass authority
they's a frat party goin' on at some sorority
that we could fuckin' crash & gank the chezzix for ourself
they're all drunk & laid out like potatoes on a shelf
you that's fine b'hi let's get some co't 45
it's an emotional potion that gets the lotion ev'ry time
& you'll be thankin' my mind when you're makin' sweet skinny
& you dip your tiggy-tongue in the vizzajine
wet wet goes the slopper like a sink w/no stopper
it keeps goin' down 'til it makes like a flopper
wet wet goes the slopper like a blow on a copper
b'lo & b'hi we bring it out proper
this is how we check the left speaker
this is how we check the right speaker
this is how we check the left speaker
this is how we check the audience
but lemme tellya it depends on the mood that i'm in at the time
how phat be my beats, how thick be my rhymes
just a dime is the difference between the 2
i'll cut up the schism & bowl off a few &
i'm back & i'm bigger than a heart attack
bigger than cholesterol, ready to give 'em all hell
the shallow get killed, their $ gets willed to me
prosperity was a rarity b4 figgitty foe met me
now every hand wants to pet me so i live it up barbershop
give it up barbershop 1, 2, 3
this is how we check the left speaker
this is how we check the right speaker
this is how we check the left speaker
this is how we check & then mate!
you are under my thumb, you've succumbed to the barberhop
always sayin' "4-2-0 on a undercover cop!"
my enemies drop in throbbing agony
but my alibi is airtight, look & see
i'm stAllio! i got the figgitty foe
& together we got you in our control
here are some words of advice
a bit to make you think twice about your actions
it might even save your life
or at least prevent some strife
choRus:
don't put your penis where you wouldn't put your mouth
(you know that shit is how diseases sprout)
if you just couldn't bring yourself to eat her out
don't put your penis where you wouldn't put your mouth
you know your penis is a friend til the end
so don't treat him like you're the dick
don't make him do anything you wouldn't do yourself
don't put your penis where you wouldn't put your mouth
da da da da da da da ad infinitum
repeat chorus
girl you're the goal
w/out a moment's hesitation i would lay you on a nearby surface
& then caress every place i'd get my hands on
if you think that i am bluffing you can test my honesty
give the opportunity to get some stuffing
girl you're the goal of my bloodrush, girl you're the goal of my tastetest
you are everything i've wanted since my id sprang up & started talkin
& if you sold you know i'd be your buyer
on maslow's hierarchy of needs you'd fall before eatin/breathin
please assist me girl before i plain expire
you are essential to me you are a necessity
here is my idolatry you are the goal of my bloodrush
i am devoted to thee come climb my family tree
turn i alone into we you are the goal of my tastetest
i went to visit the lab where i was born (should say created)
to see the foetus machine they'd hatched me from (it was so big!)
& then the doctors said they had a surprise for me (what could it be?)
they took me to the back room & made me wait
& that was when they introduced me to my good twin
he was so moral it made me ill thinking of him &
those scientists & their blasted experiment
so i vowed to kill my doppelganger right there & then
no simple mission i'd taken unto myself (kill my good twin)
he was more guarded than a felon in his cell (still i'd get in)
so i went shopping for clothes opposite of mine (whites & pastels)
& snuck into the lab again real late at night
& that was when i started stalking my good twin
he was so moral...
so i was going to kill that goody-2-shoes right there & then
the guards mistook me for the pansy me (according to plan)
& i snuck into the room where he would sleep (alone of course)
& there he was dozing oh so peacefully (just like the weak)
no doubt dreaming of candy & puppies
& that was when i got to slaughter my good twin
he was so moral i plunged a knife right into him &
planted plastique before escaping from the place & then i
blew up the lab so they could not make him again
well i'm here to tell ya barbershop is what you all deserve
so i'm here to break it down for the whole of mother earth
it's a smooth vibe but as it goes down somehow it burns
& gets ya invigorated so you can't wait 'til it returns
& you won't have to wait for another dose
i'm here & i don't stop & i'm not gonna go
'til every soul i know & everyone i don't
is full to the rim with the b-shop flow (x2)
listen close & i'll unlock the secrets i know you do not
i'm the gran massa bobba so get up into the chair
& give a listen to a medley of melodies i've prepared
i suppose since you need it i could also cut your hair
but that's an extra $10.50 on top of the ditty fare
i don't need a guitar or instruments with strings
constantly needing tuning, they're annoying things
i don't need no synths or synthesized drum loops
if i want fake drums my mouth will do
not to hold back props from those who have it due
but we all know su'um more new is due
su'um like barbershop. you know it never stop
w/ a 4, 2, & 0 on an undercover cop
i'm the gran massa bobba & i'm only here to serve
but i'm sorry to say that this is the last verse
so i have to go but i'm not going to desert
i'm gonna keep bustin' out the b-shop until it hurts!
4 score ago, when the grannies was kiddies
they had a formula for composing little ditties
where they'd take 4 blokes, assign 1 for each part
dress 'em up & make 'em croon w/a wee bit o' harmony
now that was all right, the idea was tight,
but back then they couldn't write songs
to save their fuckin' lives
but now it's 9 to the 8
& all that shit is gonna change
barbershop is on its way
this time modern not archaic
back before old-school was old
barbershop was all the rage
stAllio! & figgitty foe
resurrectin' the old ways... because
i am a barbershop quartet! (x a lot)
hey man, there's a party goin' on out here! whyncha get some refreshments?
i can get you some hotdogweiners on little sticks! let's get drunk!
aw, shut up about you & your party! i don't wanna hear about your party
anymore! your party.... party... you & your fascist fascist yuppie party!
what's so fascist about it, man? it's just a buncha people partyin...
aw party... drinking, you you fascist yuppies you drinkin' your margaritas
eating your weenies on sticks! you're all a buncha fascists, you know that?
hey man, why you knockin' our party? we're just party partyin'! us & our party!
we're just havin' a party...
aw, shut up about your party before i whip out my submachine gun! i'll whip all
your fascist faces off the face of the earth!
what's wrong with our party... man? party... party...
ah, i got 300 rounds in this submachinegun here, the one i got stuck in your jaw?
yeah, i can blow your head clean off, right youse! so shut up you f- you f- fascist!
but we just wanna party... man party... we just wanna have a ...party!
you party... fascist... yuppie... party! ...
all lyrics written by stAllio! ©copyright 1998. reprinted by permission
(my own permission, of course, but it always says that so i just went
ahead & put it in)