it's true. i have been exposed. journalist-patriot-blogger gary welsh has unmasked me and exposed my true identity to the world.

first, he brilliantly discovered my real name, after i tried so hard for so long to keep it a secret. i'm not sure exactly how he managed that feat—perhaps he looked at my threadless account, which i linked to last week, or maybe he read my name tag at that 2006 blogger meet-up.

then, he went on my flickr profile, which is so secret that i have a link to it in my sidebar, and dug up an old unflattering self-portrait i posted in 2007.

and the unkindest cut of all, he has publicly revealed my evil plot, or my "screed" as he calls it, which as he accurately describes "is essentially to attack anyone with pro-American, conservative views who is not in love with Barack Obama while warmly embracing the hate America crowd at every turn."

how will i ever show my face on the blogosphere again?

update: here's the really funny part (from gary's comments):

Downtown Indy said...

The really funny part is he's baffled by your brilliant discovery (his phrase). One that any amateur sleuth with access to google can discover in 30 seconds. Along with email, phone, address and the knowledge that Network Solutions thinks he owns one other domain name.¶

like I said earlier: he's squealing like a stuck pig! ¶

Wait. I'm confused. Does he hate Abdul, you or me the most? *scratches head* Either way, I'm in good company.

I thought it was interesting that you can see three posts in a row that really tell us where Gary's head is.

#1) Obama's New World Order
#2) Swipe at Abdul
#3) Swipe at stAllio

Apparently he's gotten bored with the CIB horse he's been flogging and decided to pull out some old chestnuts like:

"Attack another blogger for not worshiping my shadow and daring to disagree and/or mock me"

"Hey! Did you know Obama is black too?"

"OMG There's another conservative blogger with a larger audience than I have? And he's black!?!?"

This is a lotta fun. The three of us should do a rotating group post called "Posts Gary Welsh will be writing next." :) ¶

i can't decide what's the most hilarious thing about gary's post.

* that he still thinks my identity is supposed to be secret
* that his commenters think i'm a redneck
* that gary's idea of a "shorter" is clumsy and unfunny
* that his commenters can't detect sarcasm, no matter how over the top
* that the photo i "apparently" used to troll for a wife online was taken in our shared bathroom after we had moved in together ¶

At least you know one person who reads your blog.

I peed my pants today from laughing so hard. ¶

Not to mention that I told him who you are in the comments of his blog half a dozen times, and that you're not particularly interested in hiding. So the sleuthing was really unnecessary.

But I think we established a long time ago that Gary has trouble with the reading, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. ¶

Well, if he was looking to make himself look like a clueless jerk, mission accomplished. The commenters on his blog making themselves look equally bad is just a bonus.

Really, I can't imagine what Welsh was thinking. In what universe does that post not look like an asshole move? ¶