i was considering doing a "shorter" version of today's tully column, but after reading it, i've concluded that the only way i can really communicate the stupidity, laziness, and utter thoughtlessness of this piece of writing is by quoting it. so join me for this condensed version of today's tully.

here's the setup: tully has "never understood the controversy" around the lease of the indiana toll road. so, rather than, you know, sit down and review the arguments pro and con, as you might expect a political columnist to do, he simply decides to drive down the toll road one day and tell us about it. cue tully:

This column probably would be more interesting if I'd found anything to complain about: A traffic jam. A pothole to rival those that marked Indy's streets this spring. An obvious sign of mismanagement.

Anything.

really, he found nothing to complain about while driving the toll road? well, maybe that is...

Mile Marker 121: [...] One valid complaint: Gas prices are roughly 20 cents higher per gallon than what I saw at gas stations off the Toll Road that morning.

but... i thought you said...

Mile Marker 56: [...] Greenwood [a fellow traveler] asks why the state didn't fix up the road itself and use maximized profits to fund other road projects. Indiana Democrats have asked the same question for years.

that is a good question. if only there were a political columnist, perhaps working at a large newspaper, who could maybe write a column about it.

the trek goes on. at the same mile marker, another traveler tells tully that further west, the roads "are a little beaten up".

Exit 23: I have to wait about 30 seconds to pay my 50 cents. Construction crews are rebuilding the exit ramp area. Road construction can be a hassle, but as a rule I never complain about roads under repair.

it's not worth complaining about because you have a rule that you won't complain about it?

Mile Marker 21: [...] the biker from Chicago, was right. The roads are bumpier. For the next 15 miles, construction and traffic are heavy, and my car endures a few shakes, rattles and rolls.

then, after a mere 15 miles of "heavy" construction, he reaches his destination and the column is over.

let's review. he whines that he "doesn't understand" the toll road controversy, but rather than demonstrate why critics of the deal are wrong or analyze their complaints, he decides to drive down the toll road and tell us about his trip. this is like responding to complaints of unethical business practices at mcdonald's by ordering a big mac and reporting that it was hot, delicious, and covered with secret sauce.

he declares that he didn't find anything to complain about, then in the course of the column lists 3–4 things to complain about! and then he concludes by saying he doesn't understand the complaints!

some of you may recall a post i wrote back in april titled "tully needs to read tully, where i pointed out a blatant contradiction between tully's then-current column and one he'd written a few months before. but now he has truly topped himself by thoroughly contradicting himself within six paragraphs.

don't they have editors at the star who are supposed to read these things? ¶

I kept reading Tully's column waiting for a point to be made. It was a rambling mess saying absolutely nothing and avoiding many issues that could have been written and discussed. ¶

he was probably too busy eating hot dogs with republicans to write a good column. ¶

I hope the people who have to drive on the toll road every day, who will as a result pay a disproportionate amount of the tax for the state's highway budget, will have enough of an impact in November to help Tully understand, finally, why they have a beef about it. ¶

I fully expect Matt Tully & Crew to continue relentlessly interviewing Republicans over hot dogs until they finally reach the bottom of the barrel with Jocelyn Tandy, proud President of the African-American Republican Council. That'll definitely be their "shark-jumping" column! Particularly when she requests a "doggie bag" to take some home on the Star's dime... ¶

I really needed a laugh this morning, thanks Stallio. That "secret sauce" quip made me laugh out loud literally - and I had to read the whole thing to Jerame because of it. ¶

Unrelated News Tip:

Sometime in August Mayor Greg Ballard will be meet with a few local pastors to discuss funding programs dealing with crime fighting (prevention and intervention). Some of the discussion have already occurred with a list of FOB (Friends of Ballard) being created by Deputy Mayor Williams and the Front Porch Alliance Director. The list only includes pastors who agree to the following:

1) Play nice during Black Expo (No criticism of the Mayor or his staff during Black Expo)

2) Distance themselves from Amos Brown and Radio One and if they do appear to speak non-negatively about the Ballard Administration.

3) Allow the Mayor and his staff access to their churches periodically during the remianing years to talk positively about the grant dollars given to them by Ballard, in support of their program.

4) Embrace the "Peace in the Streets" program and coordinate all crime fighting efforts supported by the grants with the Christamore House to assure a consistant message.

No a bad plan really.

So if you want to get on the list talk to Deputy Mayor Olgen Williams, but you need to be coy because officially the list doesn't exist. ¶